7 Things We All Hear Way Too Many Times After Getting Engaged


Engagement is a fun and exciting time in a relationship, filled with romance, wedding planning, and noisy comments. Unfortunately, that list item is all too frequent; people often ask personal questions and make judgmental comments to engaged couples. If you are betrothed, you have probably heard some of these yourself. Let’s start sharing the love instead and not say any of these things to our engaged friends.

“Are you shedding for the wedding?”

Many brides try to lose weight before the wedding, and many do not. It’s not appropriate to assume that everyone is going to go on a crash diet before their big day. And if the bride is trying to lose some weight and is having a hard time juggling that with all the other things on her plate, it is plain rude to ask. Every bride is beautiful and radiant on her wedding day, and hopefully alive and healthy instead of starving herself.

“Are you changing your name?”

This is a big decision for a lot of brides, and one that is very personal. Especially early in the engagement, she is likely to not have thought it through enough to make a decision. Give your friends the time and space they need to make the decision and process the results. There are a number of good reasons to change your name or not to when you get married, but either way it is a personal choice.

“Isn’t it a bit tacky to register for a honeyfund?”

As more couples live together before the wedding, traditional registries are becoming less common. Many couples have the basic kitchen and household supplies that they need and don’t want a bunch of extra stuff. While giving money toward the honeymoon may not be as exciting to some people, it is sure to contribute to an amazing time for the couple that they will remember and treasure for years.

“I haven’t received my save the date. Is it in the mail?"

Creating a guest list is a big challenge during wedding planning because you can’t invite everyone. Especially for smaller weddings, the guest list is likely to be fairly limited. If you don’t get an invitation, you probably aren’t invited, so save yourself and the bride from an embarrassing and awkward moment.

“Are you really having a buffet?”

A wedding should reflect the style and personalities of the couple, not the vision all your friends and relatives have of the perfect wedding. If they don’t want a buffet, that’s fine for their wedding. You should choose the things that make your wedding day a special reflection of your relationship and work with a Napa Wedding Planner to create something that you are comfortable and happy with.

“Nice work!”

Getting a ring is not an achievement or something that you earned. Many brides are congratulated for bagging a man, while many grooms receive comments about how they finally proposed or are giving up their freedom. Each couple has their own relationship and the right time for them to get engaged. Comments like these only reinforce old stereotypes and are not helpful for modern couples

“When are you having kids?”

The couple just got engaged and is in the middle of planning a wedding, which is a huge project. Let the bride focus on this special time and not worry about the next few years of her life. Besides, this is one of those personal questions that you really should avoid in general. If you know the bride well enough, you probably know the answer, and if not, you shouldn’t ask.Do yourself and your engaged friends a favor by not putting them through engagement interrogation. Hopefully, they’ll return the favor.

In the end, focus on the positive aspects of engagement and try not to be bothered by what people say. After all, this is a special time in your life and you have plenty of other things to think about. Planning a wedding is a lot of work and creates stress and tension. Working with a Napa Wedding Planner can reduce the stress and make you feel like a guest at your own wedding.