How to Ditch All Those ‘Inevitable’ Wedding Planning Fights


Becoming engaged is an exhilarating, life-changing event. On the other hand, planning a wedding – especially a big one full of relatives and friends can be a boatload of stress. Even the most loving couples can find themselves at their wit's end and be arguing incessantly over random things.

Still, we've learned in our years of wedding planning that there are ways couples can avoid conflict in the months and weeks leading up to their big day. One of the very best things you can do to prevent needless arguments is to hire an experienced and talented wedding planner. Shameless plugs aside, here are five things we think you should talk about before you start touring potential wedding venues.

Discover Your Planning Style. Sure, sometimes it's pretty clear your betrothed has a type-A personality, and you might be a little more laid back. But discussing in advance about how both of you will approach the wedding planning process will keep annoyances in check. After all, it's natural that you may disagree on certain tasks – one may feel a task unnecessary or superfluous while the other may feel it to be critical. Discussing your approaches in advance will minimize disagreements.

Who’s in charge here? The short answer is both of you are in charge – after all, it's YOUR wedding day, right? That being said, one of you may be more organized and better suited to handling all the moving parts of a well-planned wedding. If that's the case, that person should be the one who keeps track of the paperwork, coordinates the vendors, sets up the appointments, and makes sure everything is coming together.

How will planning a wedding fit into your daily life? Prepare for a serious discussion about how often you are going to talk about, and do, your planning. One of you may want to dive into it on the weekend, while the other feels better about doing a little bit each day. So whatever your preferences are, determine how to come together on a planning schedule that works for both of you.

What are the tasks we need to do together? Some couples have different ideas on what details matter the most, while others have a different take. It's time to divide and conquer on your to-do list; how much can you expect your partner to handle? Also, you may want to team up on critical items like vendor research, menu items, and so on.

Whose opinions matter most? In most wedding scenarios, you and your partner are the ones calling the shots. But there may be other people in your lives with a stake in your wedding. Maybe your parents are paying and have a say in specifics. We suggest a hard and candid conversation with everyone involved in planning and whose opinions will hold sway when it matters most.